I'm Not Weird, AM I?

Ha! Yes I am, too, weird. Aren't we all? Look around the unschooling blogosphere lately and you'll find many a blogger revealing their weirdness to all who care to read. Yep, another one of those blog memes, infecting us all with it's quasi virus-like ability. Seems I've "caught" it from Chris at Zamozo and now I will do my duty and divulge six weird things about me. When done with that I am to "infect" six more bloggers by leaving them a comment asking them to share the weirdness. Long live the weird meme!

1. I like to eat ice tea mix. I make a paste and drink lots of water as I eat it, thereby effectively ingesting a glass of ice tea. At least that is what I tell myself...

2. I like to play with silly putty. I used to make a putty from glue to play with, but they changed the formula, so it does not work like it used to. I read somewhere that needing to keep your hands busy is actually a form of oral fixation. If my hands are not busy, I tend to nibble on something. I blame my mother's sudden weaning of me at four months of age.

3. When I eat a candy bar, I eat each part separately. For example, a Snickers would get it's chocolate eaten off first, then the nougat, then the peanuts in the caramel, finishing with the caramel. It takes me a comparatively long time to do this, as you might imagine. Another piece of the oral fixation puzzle, I guess. And, no, I do not smoke.

4. I can write backwards, in cursive. Backwards and upside down, too. In much nicer handwriting then my regular writing, in fact. I used to write notes to my boyfriends like this, so no one would be able to read it while I was writng it (in class, of course!). You have to hold it backwards up to the light or a mirror to read it.

5. I cannot throw away or otherwise get rid of a book. Even if it should be burned (the What to Expect books come to mind...)! My library shelves are full of every book I have ever owned and since I read voraciously, I am fast running out of shelf space! I do like to loan out my books and don't fret if I don't get them back.

6. My husband and I really, truely, enjoy each other and I really, really, enjoy my girls. I would rather hang out with my family, just BEing together, than do anything else in the world. Pretty sad that most of the country would think that weird, huh?

OK, I am spreading the love to Flo, Stephanie, Sissi, Sandra, Annette, and heymom.

Clueless

"I have to say that I do have one child that, hard as I tried, could not be unschooled. If left to his own devices, his day would be filled with video games and television. When I forbade those, he would just sleep or lay around outside. NOt an ounce of motivation about even a hobby. Scary.My other does very well with a more delight directed approach , thank goodness. At least I can enjoy it with one!"

This was a comment on a blog I read that was about kids being naturals at unschooling vs. "unmotivated" lumps. The person writing the blog "gets it". This commenter does not. It almost makes me want to scream, this ignorance about unschooling! I bet she "tried" unschooling, or her idea of it anyway, for about a week. And just as we would expect, when a kid is given freedom, after living with limits and/or imposed learning, he will choose what he has been denied first, until it is "out of his system". Then and only then will he be able to move on to other things. And only if you are making it clear with your unspoken language that he is free to choose. Any lack of trust from you will keep him doing the thing you hope he gives up, for as long as he feels you will take it away at any moment.

So, I bet, a week later, he is declared a failure at unschooling and is now back to the grindstone. All because the mom never learned to trust and never learned to see real learning. Because there was real learning going on with those video games and that TV watching. No, it did not look like a worksheet of multiplications problems, but I bet there was math involved. No, it did not look like a book report, but I am sure there was language involved. No, it did not look like a history/sociology/geography/art lesson, but I am positive there was something in that video game or on that TV that involved those topics.

And I bet he was having fun doing those things, or trying to with mom breathing down his neck waiting for the "doing nothing" to be over. And if he was having fun, he was learning. Quite literally, if our brains are infused with the feel good endorphins, our brains make connections better and faster. This is scientific fact. And this information is in the college coursework of all educators. Why else would "making learning fun" be the buzzwords of educators everywhere? They all know it to be true that fun=real learning. Sure, you can memorize and dump after the test without having much fun. But you did not really learn that stuff.

Without a deep understanding of what real learning is and an abiding trust in the drive of all people to learn, there can be no unschooling. That homeschooling mom was not unschooling her son then, and she is not unschooling her other child now. I really feel for that boy and what he learned during that short time of freedom. In addition to whatever he learned about through the games and TV, he learned that his interests were not good enough, that his mother did not trust him, and that he can't trust his mother to understand him. How sad for him. And how sad for that whole family to miss out on the awesome benefits of living and learning together in freedom, respect and joy.

And Now For Something Completely Different

At little bathtime fun with super sudsy shampoo and new-fangled hairstyles:

Stay tuned for more pictures and words from me, very soon!

I promise.

Really.

Email Exchange

On my local unschooling support list I shared this article. Someone responded to it with some questions. I am pretty happy with the response that came through me, so I thought I would share it here for all of you. Here is the email, with the response from me below:
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Thank you for sharing that for me Miranda. I am still uneasy, and likely wanting the control in the teaching. Since DH has taken over - and he is far less controlling than me, I am seeing even more of a new development in learning for T, and more time with us is building our bond with a family. :)
I would like to know from all of you, if you have more ideas for learning games - just so when T asks, I can have things in mind and on hand. We are going to be purchasing some more board games - and for math - well, right now Yahtzee is working wonders.
But since this is our first year, I am still a bit shaky on how to approach T's schooling. He loves math, and science, but without a curriculum we both (DH and I) get a bit lost. Any advice or tips would be helpful.
******************
I am going to delve deeper into the unschooling philosophy for you all here, and maybe it will help you see how to proceed.

People think of unschooling as a homeschooling "method", one where you get rid of the curriculum and your kids direct their own learning. It is not a method. It is a way of life.

Unschooling is based on the idea that learning is inevitable, that you learn what you need when you need it, and that living is more important than learning. That last part being the key. Living is more important than learning. It is not that you won't learn. You WILL. Because learning is inevitable. It is what we humans DO. If the focus is on living a life worth living, everything else falls into place.

You do not need to worry about what your child is not learning. If you focus on what your child loves to do, with no thought to what he will learn from it (other than a backwards glance to see the learning that did occur), you will be doing the best thing for him. You will be helping him to live a life worth living, now. No, you won't be actively preparing him for his future. But by being immersed in the joy of the present moment, living it to the fullest, he will be preparing for the future. He will be learning what he needs to fully enjoy what he is passionate about now. That will lead to more passions and more learning, because everything is connected.
It will NOT look like school. Far from it.

This is where the trust part comes in. Because unschooling does not look like school and you are NOT in control of what your child is learning, it can be hard to trust that his present passions will be enough to prepare him for his future. But, honestly, how else can it work? We have nothing but the Now. Your passions are what your heart is telling you to do. Your heart is how the Divine speaks to you, guides you. If there is a Plan for your life, THIS is where it is being laid out. In the Now. In your heart.

If your child does not seem to have passions, the answer is not to push lots of different stuff on him to see if anything "sparks", but to help him be still and listen to his heart. And to learn to relax and know that there is all the time in the world to hear what your heart is saying. It is not a race or a competition. You know how they say that life is a journey, not a destination? THIS is what they mean.

Ok, I've gone pretty deep here and revealed my foundation for living this unschooling life. This Life Learning life. It may not resonate with all of you and that is ok. If you do not believe in a Divine Plan, that is ok. It STILL works!

What your child is passionate about today will still lead to a full education, given time and trust that natural learning is the most efficient way to learn. You only truly learn when you are interested in what you are doing. So focusing on what your child is interested in will be the most efficient way to help him learn things. Strewing lots of stuff in your child's life will allow for a greater range of things for your child to be interested in, leading to more learning. For strewing, the reason we say to put the stuff out there but not be attached to what your children take from it is because your children don't like to be told what to do. Any more than you do! If you have an agenda, they will sense it and resist it. So, again, the most efficient way to help your children learn is to remove the agenda, expose them to as much of the world as you can, and sit back and trust that they will learn.

Long story short: give T games that he finds fun, that you find fun and want to share with him, or games that you both think will be fun. Focus on the fun! The learning will happen. But only if it is FUN!

A curriculum is an agenda. Your child's passions will be the only agenda worth following, if learning is your goal. Once you learn to trust that learning is inevitable and natural learning the most efficient, you can relax and just LIVE. Living becomes the goal, and you have become a Life Learner.

Hope that helps someone...
Miranda

Blame it on the penguins!

I have not been very good at blogging lately, but I have a good excuse. I cannot blog if my computer is being used by my children all day long as they cavort as penguins on Club Penguin! It will be nice when Daddy brings his laptop computer back from work, so I can get mine back! Anyway, griping aside, this is actually an amazing thing going on here. A has grown by leaps and bounds in her typing and writing and reading skills, just by playing all day. Imagine that! Not to mention the mathematical and critical thinking skills gained by the games they are playing. It is wonderful to watch. Even E, who has not shown any real readiness to learn to read yet, has role played the chatting, pretending to type in something while speaking it outloud. That may not sound like much, but it is a big step in the right direction. She is showing interest in doing these things, where before she was completely oblivious. A is thriving and it seems to be rubbing off on her little sister. I have to remind myself that she is two years younger and a totally different person whenever I find myself impatient with her literacy level.

Anyway, the girls were told by someone recently that they have to practice reading and math every day to get good at it. I take issue with the validity of that statement, however, it seems that they are doing that exact thing by playing on Club Penguin all day. Not to mention the computer skills that are being gained, the friendships, some long distance, that are being strengthened, and the negotiation skills that are being honed as we share the limited resources in the house. It is all good!

Another passion for the girls that ties into this is Skype. We have used this free computer to computer calling service before, but lost it when we upgraded/switched computers. I finally uploaded it to the new computers, so the girls could call their friends and family again. We can do video calls as well as IM type chatting and conference calls. Now the focus will be on getting all our friends to get Skype so we can interact with them as well! You hear that, dear friends? Get Skype!! Look the girls up under their names (first name.last name). They each have their own account.

As I type (I declared my computer mine for as long as it takes me to blog) E is on their computer, logged into club penguin, on the phone with her friend M in Kansas, and skyping with her friend S here in town. She has both the video calling up and the chat. A is hovering around her watching the action and helping to type, moving the webcam around, talking into the microphone, waiting for me to be done so that she can get on my computer and do the same as her sister.

Last night A asked me if she was better at the computer than I was! I told her she was better at the computer now than I was when I was her age! Of course, I told her that there were no computers when I was her age, not really anyway and certainly none with the power of today's home PC. At this rate, however, I suspect it won't take long before both of them are way more computer savvy than I will ever be.

More quizzes to avoid actually posting about something real...

My friend Stephanie turned me on to this little personality quiz here.I have to say it was pretty accurate, especially the last line of the first section on how to get along with me! I do feel that I have grown into this personality as it did not describe me as a kid as accurately. Anyhoo, here are my results:

the Adventurer

your Enneagram type is SEVEN (aka "The Enthusiast"). "I am happy and open to new things" Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world. How to Get Along with Me Give me companionship, affection, and freedom. Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter. Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories. Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am. Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people. Don't tell me what to do. What I Like About Being a Seven being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down being spontaneous and free-spirited being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun. being generous and trying to make the world a better place having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures having such varied interests and abilities What's Hard About Being a Seven not having enough time to do all the things I want not completing things I start not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship Sevens as Children Often are action oriented and adventuresome drum up excitement prefer being with other children to being alone finesse their way around adults dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up Sevens as Parents are often enthusiastic and generous want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

Don't Tell Me I am Not Qualified To Teach My Children

You paid attention during 97% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

The title is, of course, tongue in cheek. No one accused me of that and I don't teach my children. They learn. Since my girls are autodidacts, it was nice to see that I am in their league! How do you rate?