The Middle Way

It is very interesting to me how people have to pick a side and defend it by dissing the other side. In the last week, I have hung out with both schoolers and homeschoolers and observed this strange habit galore. It is as if they fear that their reasons to do something can never measure up to the reasons not to and they have to rationalize their choice by putting down the opposing choice. The truth is that school can be a horrific place and a wonderful experience. Not going to school can save you from the horror and leave you lacking in many experiences. It is not black and white.

I'd like to see people make choices for their children based on all the unique factors in their and their children's lives, the goals they have for their children and the goals the kids have for themselves. Not on what they will avoid.

All of life is an uncertainty. You cannot ensure any outcome. There is no need to bash the other side to lessen the fear of having such little control over outcomes.

No matter what you choose, your child will be someone that, in the end, you realize you had very little influence over. They are who they are meant to be. They will live their own lives. Sometimes you help them achieve their potential and sometimes they achieve it in spite of your efforts.

It can be maddening, but only if you see it as your job to "make" them into the person they "should" be. Rather, walk the path alongside them for the few short years you are blessed with and marvel at how perfectly they become, and already are, themselves. Offer your wisdom, a helping hand, your love and support, and then stand back and watch with awe.

I'm THAT Mom

I'm that Mom who says YES to getting ice cream from the ice cream truck at the park, not once, but twice in one day.

I'm that Mom who goes out of her way to accomodate her kids need to see their friends, encouraging two night sleepovers, bringing random extra kids home from parkday, and setting up whatever playdates are desired. And who makes homemade pizza, lemonade, and ice cream when those friends come over.

I'm that Mom who sees beauty and passion and value in whatever my kids do, whether it is dancing down the street, drawing anime on the computer, loving on a chicken, or seeing how late they can stay up at night.

I'm that Mom who thinks having fun is the point to life, so if my kids want to stay at the park with friends until 10 pm at night, we do.

I'm that Mom who still picks up her 9 year old like a baby and rocks her when she is sad or hurt, and who is still allowed to do that for her 11 year old.

I'm that Mom who kisses her kids goodnight, wishes them sweet dreams, and then crawls into her bed to sleep, knowing they are capable of shutting down the house and going to sleep when they are ready. And who tip toes around the house in the morning, allowing them to get a full night's sleep, even if that "night" ends at 1pm.

I'm that Mom who will negotiate a side trip to accomodate my kids needs when we need to go out and run some errands, like a stop at a favorite store, an ice cream cone, or a drop off with a friend so they don't have to go along.

I'm that Mom who knows that kids are people, too, and who treats them that way. The one who thinks their needs and wants, and whims, are as important as mine, sometimes moreso, and does what she can to help them get what they need, want and desire out of life.

I'm that Mom who knows that adult life is full of work and responsibilities, but childhood is for playing, who believes that the time for adult stuff is adulthood, and who does not force responsibility on her kids. I am also the Mom with kids who are responsible beyond their years....

I'm that Mom who spends three days of her life sitting on the couch with her kids watching the entire three seasons of Avatar: The Last Airbender. And loving every second of it!

I'm that Mom who knows that childhood is short and too precious to hurry, life is too short to waste, that making memories is what it is really all about. And that one day too soon these amazing little people I have been entrusted with will grow up and fly the nest so I should treasure every moment I have with them.

This was inspired by Flo and Ronnie and you are invited to join in!

Holy Cow!

"Pit maverick Republican Congressman Ron Paul against President Obama in a hypothetical 2012 election match-up, and the race is – virtually dead even.
A new Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey of likely voters finds Obama with 42% support and Paul with 41% of the vote. Eleven percent (11%) prefer some other candidate, and six percent (6%) are undecided. "

Check out the poll here.

Imagine that, a true Statesman almost beating a Statist. THAT would be real change, let me tell you.

Awesome!!

Wanna Hear My Crazy Thoughts?

Check it out! Sandra Dodd put my speech from the Good Vibrations conference up on her website:

http://sandradodd.com/listen/mirandademarest

Cool! Hope you enjoy getting inside my head...

Powerful Truth

This video has made it's way around the unschooling circles before, but I thought it needed another showing, for those who have not seen it before.

Ever since my mother died, I have been trying to sing and dance through life, instead of rushing to the destination. Life is short. Death is the end. Try to live Now. It is all you have, really.

Learn to Grow a Frickin' Tomato

Check out this article given by a finance professional about what he said to a roomful of highschool students:

http://www.growthstockwire.com/archive/2009/Nov/2009_Nov_24.asp

Snippet of what he said:

"Every year, I'm asked about how best to prepare for a career in finance," I started my speech.

"And for the past six years, I've suggested taking courses in statistics, human psychology, behavioral finance, and demographics. Today, however, I'm going to give you the same advice I've given my children, the same advice I've given my friends, the same advice for which people pay me thousands of dollars every year..."

I paused just long enough to notice the students were on the edge of their seats. The faculty, standing in the back of the room, stopped whispering to each other. The parents stopped texting on their Blackberries and sipping their lattes, anticipating the wisdom I was about to provide.

"If you want to be successful in life," I said, "learn to grow a frickin tomato."
*****
Loved it! Sound advice if I ever heard it.

Finding Joy

I am on a roll here, clearing out the archives of my past work. Must be I needed to re-read these! This one would have been published in Live Free Learn Free if the editor had kept it going. I miss that magazine. :-(

My daughters have a beautiful puzzle that is really a set of square wooden tiles with fragments of a scene painted on them. A piece of sky, with sun or rainbow, here, a window, door or roof there, various animals, people, and plants as well. There is no correct way to put it together. You start with one piece and add on, as you like. Each finished picture is different, but they are all beautiful. Four tiles, ten or thirty, it does not matter; each is a complete scene.

I like to think of life and the learning that happens as like a puzzle with no edge pieces. There is no limit to what you can learn and no set time frame for how long you have to learn it. Each piece you find will fit somewhere in your own personal puzzle of life but it does not have to connect to any particular other piece. You build it as you fancy it. And it all adds up in the end because it is YOURS. It does not have to, and really should not, look like anyone else’s picture. Our present method of educating our children is to hand them the standardized puzzle pieces and tell them they have 13 years to complete it. And that they will be failures if they don’t complete it or if their puzzle looks different from everyone else’s or if they reject the standardized picture altogether.

Unschooling is honoring that individual picture of a life in each child, even that picture in ourselves as well. Respecting that we each have a picture of our own choosing to create. Trusting that we will “finish the puzzle” because in each given moment it is complete. Knowing that all the moments leading up to the present moment create a finished life. You never know which moment will be your last. Why not live each one as if it IS your last?

When people first start learning about unschooling, they think it is a method of homeschooling. You know, throw out the curriculum, pretend you are on summer break, and watch as your kids’ learning takes off. But what a lot of them find along the way is that unschooling is so much more. It tends to change the way you see the world and how you live in it. In profound ways that are hard to describe to the uninitiated.

It all boils down to the meaning of life. No, really. No simple matter, but the crux of understanding unschooling requires a shift in your beliefs about what life is all about. I’m sure most of you have heard about the idea of living in the present moment. Well, that IS unschooling. Pure and simple, but oh so very difficult for those of us brought up to live for the future, which is just about everyone out there. From the earliest times in life, we are encouraged to focus on what comes next, to prepare for the future, to put aside momentary whims for more important pursuits. What else is school but a preparatory course for “real life”? So they say, anyway. No playing now, you have to learn to read, so you can get good grades, so you can get into a good college, so you can get a good job, so you can make a lot of money, so you can be happy. All that time and effort and wasted joy. All for a promised moment of happiness, in some distant future you might never live to see. And who says money makes you happy anyway?

You see, that moment when you wanted to play but could not because you had to do something for the future was life wasted. Joy sent packing. Peace disrupted. What kind of foundation for a joyful life is that? Finding joy is the meaning of life. Discovering what your passions are and pursuing them is the meaning of life. Choosing your purpose and fulfilling it is the meaning of life. Unschooling is how you find joy, pursue passions, and fulfill purposes. How does that work? Live in the moment.

Yes, I’m going in circles. You’ll find life is like that when you slow down enough to see that life is NOT a straight line drawn out for you by someone else, about which you have little choice. Learning does NOT have to happen in proper scope and sequence. One thing does NOT necessarily follow the other. Life is meandering; it builds on the past, but not always in a linear fashion. Each new piece of life adds to something that was already there, deepening the meaning, polishing the theory, bringing each bit more into focus. You start in the center of your model of the universe and add on to the edges as you live and learn. Very much like that wooden puzzle of my daughters’.

Copyright 2004 by Miranda Demarest

Beauty and Balance

Another blast from the past, this one was published in Live Free Learn Free magazine in 2006.


Do you ever find yourself with tears in your eyes over silly stuff? Just a tiny moment that speaks of the beauty of life, like a scene in one of your kid’s cartoons, or an ad in a magazine, or a moment in your life that seems like a gift. Gifts from beyond are not silly, of course, but try to explain the reason you are crying to someone else and it might make you feel a little silly. I find myself having these moments more and more now that we are unschooling. I remember the first time I found myself crying over something I would have deemed insignificant. It was a Hallmark card commercial on TV when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I was never one to go for touchy-feely sentiments and it took me by surprise. I had little idea then of how having children and sharing my life with them would change me. And since I have found unschooling, my life has been changed so deeply, it brings me to tears more than ever.

Unschooling seems to me to be the recognition of life as a series of moments you only get once, and the vow to do them right the first time. Children come into the world with no concept of life beyond the Now and it is a shame we put so much effort into abusing them of that gift. We should be learning from them about how life is a series of silly moments. You can either brush them off miserably in your haste to “do something” or “get somewhere”, or you can sit and laugh with wonder at the perfection.

I have learned from my second child about how each moment Is what it Is and how you can move on to joy from despair, in only a moment. Really. She can go from shrieking to giggling in 10 seconds flat. No grudges held for this one. We cannot control what life gives us, but we sure can control how we deal with it. We can choose to be the source of situations that our children have to exercise their amazing ability to forgive over, or we can partner with them in joy.

Unschooling focuses on the relationships in our lives, so that we can clear the way for joy and beauty and love and trust. Ask yourself each time you interact with those you love, if what you wish to do or say adds to the love between you or subtracts from that love. If this were your last breath on earth, would you choose to waste it yelling at your child or forcing them to fill out worksheets? Relationships are the most important things in life; they are what give our life meaning. It is not what we have; it is who we get to share what we have with.

Unschooling is not so much about learning as it is about living. Learning is inevitable, so they go hand in hand, but to really embrace unschooling, you almost have to forget about the learning. You don’t stop providing interesting stuff and experiences for your children, but you start to do it in the interest of a life well lived, not a learning moment. You buy the video game because it is fun, not because your child might learn something from it. You go to the museum to look at interesting stuff because you enjoy it, not for the educational opportunities. The really cool thing is that the learning happens anyway, even, and especially, if you don’t plan and scheme for it to happen. People really do learn what they need, when they need it. For me, to believe otherwise would be a serious lack of faith in a higher order and purpose to life.

There is a balance to be found between living in the moment and living in the world with others who do not share your belief that the moment is paramount. Too much laissez faire education does look to the world like educational neglect. Rest assured, it usually means they just don’t know what they are seeing. However, engaging your children in the world and showing them all that life has to offer is our job as unschooling parents. To allow our children to think the world is only what they know and have seen so far is to do them a disservice. My mother used to say that what I knew could fill a book, and at first I took it as a compliment. Then she would say that what she knew could fill the encyclopedia on our shelves, and I realized that what she was saying was that there was always more to learn. She knew more than me due to her longer life, but what there was out there to know could fill every book in the world and then some. As long as they know that there is more to know and as long as you strive to show them ever more, unschooling will flourish. That is to say, your lives will be full and interesting and, well, worth living.

Find the balance between striving and being, reaching and relaxing, living for and just living. Find that place and unschooling will become living and that will be a beautiful thing. Watch out, it just might bring you to tears.

Copyright 2006 by Miranda Demarest

Unschooling Thoughts

I wrote this a long time ago, but realized I never shared it here on the blog, so here goes:


There are two days about which nobody should ever worry, and these are yesterday and tomorrow.
Robert J. Burdette

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. Marianne Williamson

Unschooling is a terrible term to use to describe what I envision our life with our children to be. The focus on the "un" brings up a negative connotation from the start. And the word "school" emphasizes the exact opposite of what we will be living. "Unschoolers" have gotten into the habit of defining what they do by what they don't do. This tends to look like we are running away from something (the school model), rather than striving towards something (living and learning as inseparable). It makes us look like we are basing our decisions on fear of school rather than simply choosing differently.

For me, it is about choosing a lifestyle for our family that can offer so much more than the public school model. It is about allowing our children the opportunity to figure out Who They Are and then live that Truth. Starting Now, not some distant time when they are set free to "find themselves", as so many young people seem to need to do once they get out of school.

Unschooling allows our children to discover and learn freely, when the interest strikes and as they come upon new things, not according to some predetermined schedule set by someone else. The learning is more real and the "lessons" are forever. When you think of the things that you have learned in your life, I would bet that most of the learning that you actually use in your life is the stuff you have learned on your own or that which you were already interested in when it was taught to you. How much of what you learned in school do you even remember, let alone make use of in your life?

Unschooled children will most likely not learn the same things that their peers in school are learning and they will learn similar things at different times. This is okay because unschooled children will be learning every day the things that are important to them and the things that are relevant to their lives. They learn the things that they need to accomplish their goals according to their passion. Over time, this leads to a vast repertoire of knowledge that they can actually use in their lives. During this effortless process, they are learning the most important thing of all, how to think.

Learning to think for your self is a crucial skill and unschooling is an excellent way to "teach" this skill. If you don't know how to think for yourself, you are forced to let others do the thinking for you and are therefore under their control. It is a common practice of some organized religions, in order to protect their dogma/tenets, to encourage their followers to avoid questions about their faith. Do you know why? It is because the dogma does not hold up to critical analysis. It usually does not even pass the internal BS meters of the followers of the faith, as evidenced by the infinite individual interpretations of the tenets. For example, the Catholics who think that birth control or abortion are okay, a belief that is directly contrary to the teachings of the church. Why is it so important that everyone follows the dogma, or at least keep their mouths shut about it if they don't, and not trust anyone who questions their beliefs? Power. Plain and simple, it is an issue of power for the institution of the Church. It affords the institution power and therefore control over the followers.

The institution of school has power over us for the same reason, although maybe not so overtly. But we generally do not question the necessity of school. And if our children do question us, we silence them with dogma about how it is good for them and how they won't succeed without a good education. Most of us have not stopped to question our motives and goals for sending our children to school. We go along with what we were taught, what everyone else is doing, and never stop to think that there might be a different way, let alone a better way.

It is imperative that our children learn to think critically, lest they be controlled their whole lives by the institutions of our world; church, school, medicine, etc. They must learn to march to the beat of their own drummer, to know and follow their hearts, to seek and meet their life purpose and goals. The best way to do this is to ask themselves, as they encounter new ideas, "Is this what I believe?” "Does this support Who I Am?” "Why, why, why?” Otherwise they will live unexamined lives, pushed along by the groupthink, never truly happy, never knowing what it all means.

And this brings me back to unschooling. This is the hands down best way for children to grow up knowing Who They Are. It requires living in the moment, leaving out fear of a future never actually experienced. The future is truly a figment of our minds. When the future gets here it is then Now. Now is All There Is. If now is all there is, then there is no sane reason to spend all your time preparing, and poorly at that, for a future that will never come. This is school. You work so hard to learn the stuff someone else has decided is important for your future (and risked being judged poorly if you do not "learn" it well enough). No one can know what you will need in the future, not even you. All you have is the now, and all you can do is be in the present moment. All you can do is use your resources, both internal and Divine, to act appropriately in any given life situation. The more present you are, the more effective your actions will be, unmuddied by fears of the future or weighed down by thoughts of the past.

Unschooling allows for living in the moment, pure and simple. That is what unschooling is. You live your life, now, and along the way you learn. You follow your passion, now, and it leads to a successful life. If you define success by the amount of Love, Joy, and Peace in your life, not by how much money you make, that is. Fortunately, for you skeptics out there, a life filled with Love, Joy, and Peace tends to include all the money you need.

It is an exercise in faith and trust to unschool. As the saying goes, faith is stepping out into darkness and knowing you will either find solid ground beneath your feet or you find that you can fly. Unschooling is leaping off the cliff and finding you can soar to heights never dreamed of while standing at the edge.

Copyright 2004 by Miranda Demarest

Creating Eden

Ok, next time you have an hour and a half to spare, don't watch that TV show or movie from Netflix, watch this instead:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7404455615181917912&ei=ZMHsSejnGoLorgK43pzhCw&q=food+forest




You will be much better off and hopefully inspired to take action towards creating a little slice of Eden in your backyard. I know I will be! With the state of things in the world today, really what more could we do?

Blown Away

All I can say is, "WOW." Biochar, schmiochar, THIS is how to save the world.

Just a Little Video....

...to inspire and offer food for thought.

It Ain't Over, People

Ron Paul might have officially halted his campaign for the President of the United States this year, but his campaign for true liberty for all Americans is just beginning. I am proud to be a part of. Read his letter to supporters, here, and ask yourself, do I believe in Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness? If the answer is yes, please join us! The r3VOLution has just begun!!

If you want to know what I mean when I say Liberty, check this video out. It makes it VERY clear.

Freedom is the Answer

So, here is how it went, Pat. :-)

We got there too late to hear Ron Paul speak, but it was a beautiful day and we enjoyed listening to the other speakers and walking around talking to the other rally attendees. There are no really good videos of the event, but the one below was pretty cool. Watch it and you'll understand the title of this post.

The girls had fun collecting stickers and buttons and stuff people were giving away to "ron paul" themselves, as A calls it when she shows her political colors. She mentioned several times that she wished she was 18 so she could vote.

We only stayed for a couple of hours, as E had had enough. I'm glad we went, but it was a bit frustrating feeling like we were preaching to the choir. No major news coverage, of course. It was really nice to feel a part of something so important and exciting as the r3volution. I only hope it grows and more and more people wake up to what is happening to our freedoms here in America, and join us before it is too late to do anything about it.

I hope the organizers of the next event, the Revolution March, do a better job promoting it. There needs to be more people there!

Let Freedom Reign!

Tomorrow, we are going into Washington DC to lend our presence and voices to the cause of freedom. Anyone want to join us? Click the button above for details.

WW - Let's March!

Government of the people, by the people, for the people.

That is what our Constitution guarantees us. No longer do our elected representatives care about that "goddamned piece of paper" (George W Bush).

Please watch the video above and then ask yourself what it means to be an American. If your answer is to be Free, you need to be a part of this march. Our freedoms are being erroded daily by the very same people who are sworn to uphold and defend that piece of paper.

Are you going to stand by and just allow this to happen? I, for one, say "Hell, NO!"

Will you join me?

p.s. you'd have a free place to stay near DC!

Expecting Miracles

Meet my friend Kalena.

Last Summer, she was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer and labeled terminal. This was her reaction to that:

"I have always been something of a rebel. I refused to listen. I refused to give in to someone else’s limitation of me. I immediately began to count my blessings, reach for the Joy. I began to expect miracles and I now see them on a daily basis."

Quite a woman.

She has experienced a dramatic healing experience and would like to share what she has learned with the world. A book and documentary are in the works as she strives to live in the moment and find the JOY.

Her website never fails to touch me when I check in to see how she is doing. Please visit her website Expecting Miracles, read her story and sponsor her cause if you can.

Wake Up Wednesday - The Fed

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs. Thomas Jefferson

Please take ten minutes to watch this video. Everything, everything, rests on your understanding and future action resulting from the wake up call contained within. If there is anything that you don't understand as you watch it, hang in till the end and then if you need to do some research, go ahead and use that Google box over there on the sidebar. It is up to us, folks, to save ourselves. There is no "we", only "I", and the only "they" out there is not on your side.

I think I hear Thomas Jefferson turning in his grave...

Principles, Not Promises

Ron Paul is the perfect candidate for unschoolers. Why? Because unschooling is based on living life according to your principles and his entire campaign is based on sound principles, not the business as usual promises of the rest of the pack, no matter which party. You may not agree with everything he believes in -I don't- but you can't deny that he is a man of principle. He does not have to give you a bunch of pretty sounding promises to get your support because you can predict how he will handle things if you understand the principles that guide him. For example, C had some questions about his stand on bringing the military home from the war in Iraq. I KNEW his answer even before I asked him on Tuesday this week at the rally, all because I already understood his principles. What are those principles? Personal liberty, non-intervention, freedom, sound money, Truth, and the Pursuit of Happiness, to name a few. Sounds an awful lot like the principles of Unschooling to me.

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Mahatma Ghandi

The mainstream media is ignoring Dr. Paul, or outright putting him down as a radical long shot. I read somewhere today that 90% of the people have not even heard of him, but that 80% support him once they do learn about him. All I know is that I am proud to finally have a presidential candidate that I can stomach. And not just stomach, but wholeheartedly support all the way to the end, even if I have to write him in in November. A vote for Ron Paul is a vote FOR someone you can believe in. Not just a vote for the lesser of two evils. All you end up with is evil if you do that. I had a guy at the caucus tell me that Ron Paul can't win because he tells us the Truth. I almost said -but didn't- so, what, you want to vote for a liar, just because he is "electable"? I did tell him I thought the American people were ready to grow up and be able to handle the truth!

I have never voted in a primary election before. I have never donated money to a candidate before. I have never registered to vote under a party affiliation before. And, I have certainly never donated time and effort to support a candidate before. I have done all these things for Ron Paul. I am proud to say that I have done all these things and done them with my children, too.


Putting our sign up in the yard, against HOA rules, mind you!
The girls helped me prepare and distribute materials to pass out to our precinct the day before the caucus. I only wish I had done it sooner and talked to more people!

The girls sitting in a high school classroom during our caucus. Can you guess who they would vote for, if the law allowed them to?

There is a lot of misinformation going around about Ron Paul's platform. This link is to an excellent video that clears up some of the concepts very well. I highly recommend it.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1025709/ron_pauls_foreign_poli

"In the beginning of a change, the Patriot is a scarce man, brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, however, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a Patriot." Mark Twain

Are you going to be remembered as one of the brave, or one of the timid?