Friday, December 16, 2005

Long Time No Blog

Yeah, yeah, I know. To go from blogging every freakin' day for three months and then to lay off for a week, you must all be in withdrawal! But I am here and fine and all is well with me and mine. I will recap the week's events in a moment but for now I would like to ramble on about the direction of this blog. When I started it I envisioned a daily inspiring account of our wonderful lives, to be used as a way for family, friend's and other unschoolers to learn about us and learn about unschooling. That is not quite how it has turned out. Real life got in the way and human behavior ruled. Forcing myself to write each day drew out of me the bare minimum, with nothing inspiring about it. My head is full of great ideas of things to talk about here, but the chore of recording the day for all posterity has kept those thoughts inside my head. I guess it is like all creative outlets. The more you try to schedule it, the more the inspiration slips between your fingertips. And like learning (the school way). When asked to do a task when you are not interested, you do the least amount of work to meet the bare minimum of standards. I would like to find some balance between keeping you all up to date on our life and blogging only when the inspiration hits, which could be much less often than everyday, for sure. Maybe, letting myself off the hook as to what should be in this blog would give me more freedom to write as I am led. If I feel like expounding on my belly button lint, I would hope that what I wrote about that would be more exciting and valuable than a dry account of the girls' day. The pressure to turn each and every normal day into something new and exciting is excruciating. Life is not like that. OUR life is not like that. Sure, we do alot of fun stuff that the girls can't help learning from. But each day does not hold such easily recorded events. I would bet my life that each day some new knowledge finds a place in my chidldren's internal model of the universe, but to be able to spell that out I would have to be a mind reader. Even on the days we do something that should give them new information and connections, I still can't say for sure what went into their heads. Now, I do know what they know by living with them and talking with them everyday, but that insight is revealed to me in it's own time, not by my test schedule. As it should be. Their minds are not mine to control. I have only the duty to help out when asked and guide when needed. Each moment of each day gives them opportunity to grow into the people they are here to be. I do not know who they are meant to be. Only they know. I cannot proscribe the perfect plan to get each girl what she needs to fulfill her destiny. Only they can. I can only assist as called and offer what is seemly. No more, and no less. To claim otherwise would be arrogance and folly. No, this does not look like the way most people live their lives. Heaven forbid I should live as everyone else, when I am given the opportunity to shine in my own way. And heaven forbid my children should plod along with the masses when I know they are here to Shine. And if heaven won't forbid it, I will!

I'll post later about our week. Now I must go be with my children.

1 comment:

Justine said...

Very well said, my friend.