Why I'm Not on Facebook

Years ago I read a short sci-fi story in which a young man was tired of living in his isolated apartment, only connected to the rest of the world by sophisticated tech, not unlike our internet today. He "called" his mother to tell her he was coming for a visit. She was shocked and tried to talk him out of it. Apparently in this world, it was very dangerous outside. Whole systems had been set up to keep people safe and in their homes - food was delivered to them and lots of other needs were provided by robots. Outside was a warzone. The poor and destitute of the world lived out there, fighting for survival.

Anyway, I don't remember what happened to the young man in the story, but sometimes I think real life is resembling this story all too well. Sure we can "talk" to someone halfway across the world at the click of a key(Hi Annette!), but I would much prefer a hug from that person (Annette gives good hug!). We can rack up the "friends" on social networking sites, but how many of those people would come watch your kids in the middle of the night when you have a medical emergency, or bring you dinner when you feel too blue to cope. How many do you know well enough to confide your deepest fears to?

I recently read an amazing article by a therapist who felt her work was adding to the problem of disconnection rather than helping. People can go talk for an hour with a professional, unload their cares, and then head back out there, just as alone as before. Wouldn't you rather have a friend drop by for tea to share your troubles and joys with? I would.

But Miranda, you say, you are here blogging, sharing with complete strangers. Why not Facebook, too? I admit, it is rather hypocritical of me to be lamenting the inadequacy of online community while secretly thrilling to all the hits and comments I have gotten in the last few days. But I am planning and scheming of ways to boost my IRL connections.

I have a local unschooling support group parkday each week and that has been great. We have had a few weeks of hiatus from that as we sort out our winter plans and I have missed it so much. We have been going to the homeschool ice skating, but that does not lend itself to very much connection, if you want to skate and your friend doesn't. But sometimes once a week is not quite enough.

I love this house and the land but I do wish I were just a tiny bit closer to neighbors. Or at least that I knew my neighbors. I'm not so good about just marching up and ringing a doorbell and saying hi. Must work on that. C can help. He is the social butterfly of the marriage!

Anyway, I have been thinking about starting a monthly Studio Night and inviting my friends to come hang out in my basement art/craft/sewing room and be creative together. I think it would be great fun and I can't wait to get it started. Just gotta get the studio finished!

Bottom line, I want more real life "face" time with people, not just Facebook "friends". I want to spend my time getting to know the people around me better, not "meeting" people from far flung places who I'll never meet for real. And it just makes me sad when I think of the people I already feel connected to who are far away and I really wish they were closer. The last thing I need is to feel closer to someone who is never going to be sitting across the table from me sharing a cuppa and our life's stories.